I Hate This Phase, But I Love the Person I'm Becoming
Published: October 19, 2025 • 7 min read
As I write this, no one in my personal life yet knows about this portfolio piece except my mom, who really doesn't understand what it is or the value it potentially holds despite my several explanations (haha).
I have very supportive friends who would jump to cheer me on when I share my ideas, experiences, and things I'm planning to do with them. However, reflecting this summer over some past experiences, I've come to learn that I've fallen victim time and time again to mental masturbation. Do you know how long I've been telling people I'm going to build a portfolio? It's been at least three years now, but I never moved the needle.
The Reality of Job Hunting
Now that I'm job hunting, I must confess that submitting job applications feels like an absolute waste of my time. I want to emphasize the word "feels" because I know that it's truly not a waste. The market is tough, too many talented people out there in the pool competing with me, a recent graduate.
However, I've decided that one of the best things I can do for myself in this period of unemployment is to increase my own overall value, whereby a job simply becomes the byproduct of that. This includes even learning French. The beginning of that was creating this portfolio and now I am working on creating projects for it.
The Power of Silence
As I write this, I'm in the first phase of building my first real project, the one crucial thing this portfolio piece lacks. The nice thing about the silence of not getting as many interviews as I'd like, or more callbacks, as well as no dopamine hit from anyone I care about actively cheering my current work, is that despite how good this website might have seemed to me six months to a year ago (or even to you, the reader), there's no dopamine hit I'm getting from it.
In fact, I myself can list out multiple ways I believe this site can be improved, but I have to make peace with the fact that the current version is the most efficient working version I can put out there while I continue learning in the background, working on portfolio projects, improving my French, etc.
Building a "Portfolio of Projects"
Anyways, I'm now building what I would call a portfolio "project of projects." It's kind of nice to come to terms with how infinitely small and irrelevant I am in this vast universe because that means no one's seeing this... at least not yet. Therefore, no one's really judging.
My idea for my portfolio project of projects is still in its early phase. If you choose to visit it here, depending on how far from the publishing date of this blog post you're reading this, I hope you don't judge too harshly, or I hope you see it when I've finally perfected it to match the vision so clear in my head right now.
What Is This "Project of Projects"?
The AI Prompt Engineering Toolkit is my answer to a question that's been nagging me: how do I showcase not just that I can build applications, but that I understand the methodology behind effective AI collaboration?
It's an interactive web application that demonstrates:
- 15 showcase prompts that generated production-quality applications
- Prompt engineering techniques I've mastered (zero-shot, few-shot, chain prompting, RAG, and more)
- An interactive playground where you can test and analyze prompts in real-time
- Case studies documenting how I built complex applications in hours instead of weeks
- My journey from traditional development to AI-assisted creation
This isn't just another project, it's a demonstration of expertise that positions me as someone who doesn't just use AI tools, but understands them at a systems level and can teach others to do the same. While the above description shows my initial idea for this project, my actual plans and ideas for it is still evolving so what you eventually see might be different from the above description.
The Gift of Being Your Own Worst Critic
The nice thing about not getting any dopamine hits is that "I am my own worst critic", aka, my "taste" for what is good is so high that I haven't even achieved it yet. Protecting this project from premature praise is what will allow me to push myself to get this project or site to my taste level.
I'm finally going to fulfill the promise I've made to myself a long time ago. I'm going to build a project of my very own, something that I truly care about given my experiences, make videos about it fearlessly... convincing myself that no one's looking at it so it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be created.
Reconnecting with the 16-Year-Old Me
I'll be doing all these things autonomously, not because it's part of a school project or because anyone asked me to. I'm reconnecting with that 16-year-old version of Prisca who started a YouTube channel... made videos not caring if they were seen but concerned mostly about the transformation that came with all that work.
That version of me who built pillow forts to record math videos didn't know she was developing skills that would become essential in her tech career. She just knew she loved teaching and wanted to share that love with others. I'm channeling that same energy now, creating not for validation, but for growth.
A Letter to My Future Self
This feels like writing to a diary... and honestly, it actually is one at the moment. But when you come across this, I hope it's at a time when I've already done the things I said I would.
If you're reading this in the future, whether you're a recruiter, a fellow developer, or just someone curious about my journey, I hope the AI Prompt Engineering Toolkit is complete. I hope it shows not just what I built, but how I think, how I solve problems, and how I've grown.
And if you're reading this while it's still a work in progress? Well, that's okay too. You're witnessing the messy middle, the phase I hate but that's shaping the person I'm becoming.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Growth
Growth is uncomfortable. It's lonely. It's full of moments where you question whether you're on the right path, whether your efforts matter, whether anyone will even notice.
But here's what I'm learning: the discomfort is the point. The silence is teaching me to build for the right reasons. The lack of external validation is forcing me to develop internal standards that are higher than any praise could inspire.
I'm building this toolkit not because someone asked me to, not because it's a school assignment, but because I genuinely believe it represents something valuable, a bridge between traditional software development and the AI-enhanced future we're stepping into.
What's Next
As I continue building the AI Prompt Engineering Toolkit, I'm documenting everything:
- The prompt iterations that worked (and the ones that failed spectacularly)
- The techniques I discovered through trial and error
- The moments of breakthrough when a complex application suddenly clicked together
- The lessons learned from building 65+ applications in just four months
This journey is teaching me something my previous experiences at Cambium Inc, eCenter Research, and Outlier all hinted at: the most valuable skill isn't knowing everything, it's the ability to figure anything out.
To You, Reading This
Thank you for being here. It truly is humbling to be noticed by you and that you'd care to read a work of mine up to this point in this world of many, many talented people.
And if you want to watch this project come to life, check out the AI Prompt Engineering Toolkit. Whether it's complete or still in progress when you visit, you'll see authentic work from someone who's learning to build not for applause, but for transformation.
This post is part of my "Reflection Stories" series, where I document the uncomfortable truths about building a career in tech. The messy middle matters just as much as the polished outcome.